Monday, January 7, 2013

Musings of a 2010 bride. That's me.

Three years ago today, probably an hour later Mexican time, my mom and I were getting our hair done in our resort salon. January 7th, 2010 was simply the best day of my entire life. It felt like a dream. I often get to talk to brides years after their wedding and we discuss what they would do differently.

I remember feeling upset that our friends were not able to make it and focusing on the negative of our trip. Michael gently reminded me of the importance of the people who were there for us. And that's a life lesson I've come to adopt.

Stop focusing on the ones you think should be there for you. It's about who is.

We often muse about what we would do differently if we could do it again. We definitely would have the same bridal party. I can't tell you how many times bridal parties fall apart after a wedding and you are then stuck with photos that forever remind you of that person. Our parents did everything for us. They will never need to be photoshopped out of a wedding portrait. We would still do a destination and probably not the big reception back home. We did that for those that couldn't make it to Mexico. Okay, and a little bit for me. Because I always love a reason to have a great big party.

I would have researched photographers a bit more in depth. I would have invited who I wanted to invite and not who I thought was appropriate. Our close circle of friends has changed and expanded.
We are the same people at our core but a better version of ourselves now. We have surrounded ourselves with positive and thoughtful people and don't find ourselves disappointed. Ever.

I would have tried on lots of poofy dresses and not just bought the coolest one I could find on the internet. At least for the sake of my mom, and the fun of trying on traditional dresses.

So much thought and preparation goes into a wedding and in most cases, it is the most important and extravagant party you'll ever plan. Styles and trends change. So do friends. Years go by and there are bigger and better vendors. You wish Pinterest was around when you planned your wedding (Sigh!)
These things are evolutionary and natural.

I was speaking with someone yesterday about their marriage gone awry. She mused to me, the first year is hard, eh? And it is. It's about changing and growing; both together and separate, accepting someone else's flaws and idiosyncrasies, with the grace of an adult and the patience of a saint.

I think it takes time to get used to each other, figure out what makes each other tick, how to cool off in a classy way and above all, keep the love alive. I'll be the first to admit things haven't been perfect. What the hell is perfect anyways? And why do people feel the need to pretend? There is a reason us women get together and joke and complain about our husbands. And why men need a guys night out to unwind. Add kids to the mix and things become even more difficult, free time together and apart is even more limited and everyone is just all the more exhausted.

But we are here. We've made it. We have a thriving business, a happy life and have figured out this thing called marriage. Not by some sort of standard or book, but the best way we know how. To love and respect each other, to be open and honest, to put the other person's needs before our own and to say a prayer every night thanking God for the life he has chosen for us.

There are three things I am most proud of in my life. My University degree, my career and my marriage. All three have had their ups and downs, at certain points had me pulling my hair out in tears and finally, have been the most worthwhile experiences of my life.

Happy Anniversary Michael! Before you, I had a one way ticket to unsure-ville. I was lost, drifting around the world trying to figure out my purpose. You saved me.

I love you.

Your wife,



  1. I read a book about marriage once that said "its not about finding happiness with that person its about finding the holiness within yourself. When we see the other person as someone who is there to make us better-not because they make life easy but because through trials they teach us something new about our strength and we do the same for them. Happy times are there but our growth always comes when we give ourselves up in order to find the holiness of God inside. Marriage is made for that. Congrats to both of you.Thanks for sharing.

  2. ...Welll said Wendy. Couldnt have said it better